Free Yourself From the Fear of Failure
Post by Michelle Griep
It's okay to mess up. No, really. Not only am I giving you permission to crash and burn in spectacular glory, but you need to give yourself permission as well. Why? Because studies show when you feel you are allowed to make mistakes, you are less likely to make any. (info from 99U)
Sure, that's easy to say, but how does it play out in the real world of writing? What exactly does it look like to write in a manner that is free from the fear of failure?
3 Steps Toward Writing Fearlessly
1. Give yourself some time.
When you start a new writing project, don't expect to whiz-bang it out in a manner of weeks, especially if you're taking some new risks in your writing (and you should always be taking some kind of risk). Don't constrain yourself by expecting to create within a certain timeframe. This gets a bit more tricky if you've got an actual deadline, but even so, build some wiggle time into that looming date. That gives you space to correct mistakes that you will undoubtedly make.
Example: I need to turn my next manuscript in by Feb. 1st. But I made myself a personal deadline of Nov. 30th. That way I can go back in and fix up the bugaboos without shifting into panic gear.
2. Ask for help.
Nobody likes to admit they need help. It's humbling . . . especially if you've made a mess of something. But don't hide your mistakes. Share them with others who can help. Sometimes it really does take a village.
Example: The novel I'm working on is set in South Carolina. What the heck do I know about Colonial America? Sure, I've researched, but I've also got a few historical fiction buddies who are experts in this area. I'm not only asking them for help, I'm batting my eyelashes and adding a "pretty please with sugar on top."
3. Quit the comparison game.
There are always going to be faster writers out there than you. But if you compare yourself to them, you'll get all snarled up in feeling worthless. If comparison is a horrible habit you just can't break, then compare yourself to yourself. Look at your performance this year and compare it to where you were at five years ago, or even a year ago. You might still be making mistakes, but are you making less? Are you improving?
Example: I used to beat myself up for not being able to write more than a page a day. That count is in the rear view mirror. Now I can easily do 1500 in a day. That number still doesn't compare to some of the rockstar authors I know, but I see growth and that frees me up to quit worrying about it.
Don't stagnate in playing it safe to avoid making mistakes. Successful people take risks, even if it means they fail.
Sure, that's easy to say, but how does it play out in the real world of writing? What exactly does it look like to write in a manner that is free from the fear of failure?
3 Steps Toward Writing Fearlessly
1. Give yourself some time.
When you start a new writing project, don't expect to whiz-bang it out in a manner of weeks, especially if you're taking some new risks in your writing (and you should always be taking some kind of risk). Don't constrain yourself by expecting to create within a certain timeframe. This gets a bit more tricky if you've got an actual deadline, but even so, build some wiggle time into that looming date. That gives you space to correct mistakes that you will undoubtedly make.
Example: I need to turn my next manuscript in by Feb. 1st. But I made myself a personal deadline of Nov. 30th. That way I can go back in and fix up the bugaboos without shifting into panic gear.
2. Ask for help.
Nobody likes to admit they need help. It's humbling . . . especially if you've made a mess of something. But don't hide your mistakes. Share them with others who can help. Sometimes it really does take a village.
Example: The novel I'm working on is set in South Carolina. What the heck do I know about Colonial America? Sure, I've researched, but I've also got a few historical fiction buddies who are experts in this area. I'm not only asking them for help, I'm batting my eyelashes and adding a "pretty please with sugar on top."
3. Quit the comparison game.
There are always going to be faster writers out there than you. But if you compare yourself to them, you'll get all snarled up in feeling worthless. If comparison is a horrible habit you just can't break, then compare yourself to yourself. Look at your performance this year and compare it to where you were at five years ago, or even a year ago. You might still be making mistakes, but are you making less? Are you improving?
Example: I used to beat myself up for not being able to write more than a page a day. That count is in the rear view mirror. Now I can easily do 1500 in a day. That number still doesn't compare to some of the rockstar authors I know, but I see growth and that frees me up to quit worrying about it.
Don't stagnate in playing it safe to avoid making mistakes. Successful people take risks, even if it means they fail.