What Really Happens During NaNoWriMo
post by Michelle Griep
You no longer make nutritional food from scratch. Say hello to stupid filled-with-toxic-waste convenience foods. Eventually you skip the frozen pizza and go straight to desserts. The month ends with you curled in the fetal position in your underwear on the floor, covered in Hershey wrappers and empty bottles. You don't even drink . . . that you remember.
You will meet inadequacy. No, not with a stiff handshake. Throw your arms wide and embrace your new BFF. 29 of the 30 days you will feel like a shmuck because you didn't reach your bajillion word goal for the day.
You will soar on the wings of ecstasy and plummet to the pit of despair . . . every five minutes.
You can't quit your day job, so you stay up all hours typing like a fiend. Sleep is a sweet memory. Invest in some quality makeup, you're going to need it, even if you're a man. Go on. Run over to Macy's and whip out your credit card. I'll wait.
You will wonder who in the world came up with this particular form of torture? Was it the ancient Romans, perhaps? No. Aliens? Maybe. Much time will be wasted as you Google search this lead, which in turn leads you to YouTube, where you watch hours of cat videos and a few explosions, which leads to the dark side of cat explosion videos.
You will find camaraderie and solace in the arms of complete cyber strangers. At first it creeps you out because hey, isn't this how deadly viruses are spread? But as the days wear on, you don't care anymore, and end up inviting potential axe murderers who write slasher stories to your Thanksgiving meal.
This, all of this, is what really happens during the NaNoWriMo event. Don't say you weren't warned.
You will meet inadequacy. No, not with a stiff handshake. Throw your arms wide and embrace your new BFF. 29 of the 30 days you will feel like a shmuck because you didn't reach your bajillion word goal for the day.
You will soar on the wings of ecstasy and plummet to the pit of despair . . . every five minutes.
You can't quit your day job, so you stay up all hours typing like a fiend. Sleep is a sweet memory. Invest in some quality makeup, you're going to need it, even if you're a man. Go on. Run over to Macy's and whip out your credit card. I'll wait.
You will wonder who in the world came up with this particular form of torture? Was it the ancient Romans, perhaps? No. Aliens? Maybe. Much time will be wasted as you Google search this lead, which in turn leads you to YouTube, where you watch hours of cat videos and a few explosions, which leads to the dark side of cat explosion videos.
You will find camaraderie and solace in the arms of complete cyber strangers. At first it creeps you out because hey, isn't this how deadly viruses are spread? But as the days wear on, you don't care anymore, and end up inviting potential axe murderers who write slasher stories to your Thanksgiving meal.
This, all of this, is what really happens during the NaNoWriMo event. Don't say you weren't warned.
