Publishing Doesn't Solve Your Problems

Everyone's got problems. A hangnail on your thumb. The doggy-doo-doo stuck in the crevice of your best sneakers even though you took out a dang toothbrush and scrubbed it outside under the hose nozzle, blasting it at neuron-splitting speed. You can't remember your password for Words With Friends even if a Russian gang threatens to mainline borscht into your carotid artery.

Even authors have problems.

Oh, I know. Some people think that authors have it made. That once you've signed a contract, hello Easy Street. Grab me a drink with and umbrella an park my heinie beachside.

Uh . . . nope.

Hate to break it to you, especially any newbie writers out there with starry eyes, but that is one big fat ugly misconception, all snarly and gross like the nastiness you pull out of the bathroom drain. And that's no exaggeration.

Actually, if anything, it's more like Grind Avenue, and the published author is the roadkill on the side. Why? Pressure. The pressure of:
     - meeting a deadline
     - wondering how sales numbers are doing
     - trying to crank out fresh prose at breakneck speed
     - balancing social media and marketing all while coming up with new story ideas
     - not looking like the schlub you really are because that would freak out the readers

Not that I want to scare away any potential authors out there. It's a great gig, losing yourself in Storyworld, getting to hobnob with other authors, receiving a shipment of free bookmarkers from your publisher. Those are all great perks.

I'm just saying take off your rose-colored glasses the next time you meet a published author. They're as insecure as you are.