10 Reasons to Become a Writer

You enjoy getting punched in the head with crappy reviews.

The story ideas and voices in your head won't shut up no matter how many drugs you take.

You always wanted a job with a pajama dress code.

Your health insurance doesn't cover psychotherapy.

Writer is a more desirable label than unemployed loser.

Because you have control issues and possibly a freakish desire to play god.

The commute is easy peasy.

You stink at science and math so neurosurgeon and/or astrophysicist are out of the question.

You'd like to leave some kind of legacy other than a trail of empty candy bar wrappers and Starbucks cups.

Fame and money. Just kidding.