Writing: The Good, the Bad, and Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about writers, and there are a few things I wish my mama would've told me before I decided to become one. Ten things, actually . . .

1. Some days you won't feel like writing but you have to do it anyway.

2. Creativity isn't always coming up with your own, fresh material. Sometimes you steal it and tweak it to make it your own.

3. Most of the time you will feel like your writing is the suckiest in Sucksville.

4. Not every one or two star review makes you weep. Some of them are so poorly written you about pee your pants reading them.

5. Pitching a book idea to an editor is a lot like selling a car. You play up the great parts and don't mention any potential transmission problems.

6. What? You don't like getting punched in the head with rejection? Then rethink your career choice, buckaroo.

7. There is a supreme sense of satisfaction when you hold your published book in your hands, kind of like when you eat a quart of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

8. Writing a book takes a lot of time. Becoming a published author takes a lot of time. Getting a royalty check takes a lot of time. Get used to waiting.

9. Sure, you'll have readers who will want to touch the hem of your robe. None of them will be family members. Your family probably couldn't care less about your writing.

10. Most writers don't make a lot of money.

So if you know if anyone who's considering stepping foot on the writerly path, share these little nuggets with them. It probably won't change their mind, but at least they'll be warned.