I once made the mistake of reading the entirety of Huckleberry Finn out loud to my boys. Sheesh. I have permanent scars on my tongue from verbalizing a metric ton of old south slang and twang.

But dang. That man can write.

Here are a few nuggets of advice from Mr. Samuel Longhorne Clemens . . .

The author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. 

The personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable.

The author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones.

An author should:

• Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.
• Use the right word, not its second cousin.
• Eschew surplusage.
• Not omit necessary details.
• Avoid slovenliness of form.
• Use good grammar.
• Employ a simple, straightforward style.

Great words from a great writer. . . but I still don't recommend reading Huck Finn out loud.