Pffft on Toleration

In the good old days, way back when I could walk alone to the 7-Eleven and score a large Slurpee without even worrying if I’d die from diabetes, it was easy to find a book. Big Gulp in hand, I’d toodle over to the library, scan the row of fiction, and pull down five or ten reads to hold me over until my next visit. All in all, sugary beverage included, it took about an hour. You would think with the advent of the internet, that task would be pared down to like thirty seconds.

Wrong-oh, Flapjack.

When I open up Amazon and delve in, I’m lucky to explore .000000000001% of what’s available in an hour, and that’s being optimistic. Did you know that Amazon adds a new eBook every 5 freaking minutes? The total skyrockets faster than the national debt…wait a minute. That is an exaggeration. The national debt cannot currently be matched. But seriously, the total number of titles is nearly 4 million and counting. Who can even begin to sift through that many?

Not me. Though I may pine for the old days, I know that’s not realistic because the genie is definitely out of the bottle and shaking his bootie in a frenzy. I propose a new site. Something elite. Something that only sells the best of the best in eBooks. Yes, that’s right. I am daring a huge raspberry farty noise in Amazon’s general direction even though they happen to carry my books. Call me intolerant. A hater, if you will. But the problem is that my books, as countless others, are lost in the cyber eBook swamp.

So, any wizards out there able to create a new, discriminating site carrying great titles that aren’t schlocky? Because I think I can direct a whole lot of business your way.

In the mean time, think I’ll go grab me a Slurpee for old time’s sake.