How to Annoy the Bejeebers Out of a Writer
Top 3 Ways to Make a Writer Put on His Angry Eyes
#1. Read the first 3 pages of the author's book. Skim the rest. Figure out there's no mention of unicorns or vampires or anything even remotely Amish, nor is there one freakin' zombie in the mix. Flip to the back cover and discover that the story is really historical fiction set in Regency England. Hop on over to Amazon and Goodreads and give it a one star for no horned horses, blood suckers, bonnets, or walking dead.
#2. Send an email to the author of your choice and tell them that you'd like to be a writer, too. Mention that you actually don't live too far away from said author and could you meet for coffee? Better yet, could you just stop by for a face-to-face discussion about how to get your manuscript picked up by Harper Collins or Macmillan? Do not indicate that you care about the author or his work in any way. Oh yeah...and don't forget to ask if they could please recommend you to their agent.
#3. Ask what the author's latest book is about. Let your mouth hang open and your eyes glaze over as you listen. As soon as the writer finishes, no matter what their story is about, compare it to Fifty Shades of Grey and/or ask them how much money they make.