The Nectar of the gods

Agents and publishers come and go, but there's one thing a writer cannot survive without...java. Yeah, it's important to learn to show instead of tell, how to construct believably complex characters, and yada-yada, but the single most strategic skill a writer can master is how to brew a great cup of joe (and yes, I was a barista at one point in time so I'm not just talking smack).

The 5 Fundamental Principles of Superb Coffee Brewing

1. Don't cheap out; buy the good beans.
Scope out your neck of the woods for a shop that roasts their own beans, then buy them freshly roasted. I realize it's easier to grab a bag off a grocery store shelf, but do you know how long those beans have been sitting there? Since the dawn of time. Trust me.

2. Grind your own beans just before brewing.
Invest in a burr grinder and pulverize those delectable pods of tastiness right before you make your coffee. Coffee compounds deteriorate quickly when exposed to oxygen, so only grind as much as you will use.

3. Store your beans properly.
Keep your precious cargo in an airtight container away from the sun. The whole "should I freeze those beans or not?" is highly controversial, so I'm not even going to stick my toe in that piranha infested water. The most important thing is to keep them air tight.

4. Don't wimp out on the amount you grind.
Does anyone seriously like to drink church coffee? You know, the tan, hot water that's served in white styrofoam cups by blue-haired ladies in the church basement? Why would you do that to yourself? Grind up a goodly amount, and when you think it's just right, dump in a few more beans.

5. Perfect the technique.
Are you a french press devotee? A pour-over snob? A Mr. Coffee set-me-the-timer-and-shut-up kind of drinker? Whatever your method of coffee making is, own it and take the time to master it.

There you have it. Yes, you could toodle over to Starbucks and fork over cash for a cup each morning, but there's much to be said psychologically about the benefits of a coffee brewing ritual in the morning.

And for you tea drinkers out there, I hear you. You'll be getting your fair and balanced post in the future.