Questions Sheepish Writers Are Afraid to Ask
post by Michelle Griep
Lots of writers have questions, but most are too polite to ask them out loud. Being I don't have a filter -- it broke a long time ago, folks -- I'm here to voice these questions for the masses and ponder the potential answers.
Can I fire a reader?
Can an author go all Donald Trump on a reader and tell him he's outta here? I'm talking the type of reader that hates Christianity and picks up a book that clearly states it's inspirational -- then blasts it on Amazon for "being religious." Sheesh. Get a life. But don't get a dead squirrel toupee like Donald Trump (we all know that seriously cannot be his real hair).
What's up with writing memoirs?
All of a sudden it's super trendy. Did I miss the memo or what? Personally I think it's just a catch-all genre for people who want to write but don't know what to write so when they're asked, they're like, "Oh, yeah, I'm writing a . . . a memoir. Yeah! That's what."
How does one go viral?
Granted, an author must write a killer story in order for it to go viral, but I've read some pretty awesome stories that never make it to the hundred thousand level on Amazon's sales ranking. Why? Why aren't perfectly penned novels guaranteed to sell a bajillion copies? I think it might have something to do with needing to be Oprah's cousin or some other big name superstar.
Is social media all it's cracked up to be?
One cannot possibly be a whiz at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linked In, Tumblr and a dozen more medias all at the same time. But that's what all the marketing gurus say to do. Get your name out there. Blast potential readers because it takes seven times exposure before one will actually purchase your book. Is our short vaporous life worth leaving a legacy of mere Tweets?
How come writers are nerds?
They are, you know. It's time someone admitted it out loud. Bunch a freaks who hear voices. I'm pretty sure this is related to a lonely childhood or possibly a genetic code disorder, but no one really knows the answer to this one.
There you have it. Any other questions you want me to tackle and/or give voice to? Leave them in the comment section. I promise this time I'll answer.
Can I fire a reader?
Can an author go all Donald Trump on a reader and tell him he's outta here? I'm talking the type of reader that hates Christianity and picks up a book that clearly states it's inspirational -- then blasts it on Amazon for "being religious." Sheesh. Get a life. But don't get a dead squirrel toupee like Donald Trump (we all know that seriously cannot be his real hair).
What's up with writing memoirs?
All of a sudden it's super trendy. Did I miss the memo or what? Personally I think it's just a catch-all genre for people who want to write but don't know what to write so when they're asked, they're like, "Oh, yeah, I'm writing a . . . a memoir. Yeah! That's what."
How does one go viral?
Granted, an author must write a killer story in order for it to go viral, but I've read some pretty awesome stories that never make it to the hundred thousand level on Amazon's sales ranking. Why? Why aren't perfectly penned novels guaranteed to sell a bajillion copies? I think it might have something to do with needing to be Oprah's cousin or some other big name superstar.
Is social media all it's cracked up to be?
One cannot possibly be a whiz at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linked In, Tumblr and a dozen more medias all at the same time. But that's what all the marketing gurus say to do. Get your name out there. Blast potential readers because it takes seven times exposure before one will actually purchase your book. Is our short vaporous life worth leaving a legacy of mere Tweets?
How come writers are nerds?
They are, you know. It's time someone admitted it out loud. Bunch a freaks who hear voices. I'm pretty sure this is related to a lonely childhood or possibly a genetic code disorder, but no one really knows the answer to this one.
There you have it. Any other questions you want me to tackle and/or give voice to? Leave them in the comment section. I promise this time I'll answer.