It's no great secret that writers sit on their heinies all day. Leastwise the productive ones do. And that makes for some stiff muscles, creaky joints, and a trunk and half full of junk. Don't panic. I've got your backside here at Writer Off the Leash. Today I'm going to share some of my favorite yoga poses.

The Sweet Mercy

The "Sweet Mercy" Move
As in "Sweet Mercy, I've typed so long that the numbness in my fingers now stretches up to my armpits." Just do this move, oh, let's say fifty-two times, and you'll be good as new.

Creepy Stalker

The Creepy Stalker
This pose is great to practice right before attending a writers' conference. You never know when you'll meet the agent or editor of your dreams, and this move will come in really handy to distinguish yourself from the rest of the writerly wannabes.

Rock Star

Rock Star
If you work hard enough for long enough, eventually you will achieve literary success. You know what that means? Yep. You'll be on the stage, under the lights, in front of hundreds of eyeballs. You might as well limber yourself up good right now with the Rock Star stretch.

The Contract Contortion

The Contract Contortion
This is it. This is the pose every kid on the writerly block yearns to perfect. A beach isn't necessary to perform this move, but doggone if it doesn't make the landing a lot easier on the bones.

Bad Bad Beans

Bad Bad Beans
You've all heard this, because it's true: don't quit your day job. It's no secret writers don't rake in a whole lot of money, which makes grocery shopping a challenge. Sure, beans are cheap, but so are Ramen noodles. Step away from the bean aisle. Just sayin'.

Gangsta

Gangsta
Rejection after rejection. One-star reviews. There's a certain amount of rage involved in being a writer. Instead of going out gang-banging to relieve the pressure, try this sweet move instead.

The Dead Cat

The Dead Cat
Writers' block, schmiters' block I always say. No, really. All the time. It's like a sick nervous tic. One of my favorite cures for writers' block is to kill off a character. Or if you happen to have a cat on hand--oops! Did I say that out loud?

So, there you have some fantastic yoga poses to get your sorry winter behind in shape for shorts season. Yeah. I know. I'm just that awesome. If you've got a favorite move or two, feel free to share in the awesomeness by leaving your ideas in the comment section.