I probably should have been writing today, but instead I doodled around on Twitter and discovered a super fun hashtag.

Ditch Your Date in 5 Words is a creative playground. Here are some of my favorites:

You're not Benedict bloddy Cumberbatch!

I have chronic diarrhea.

Been sober since 7 a.m.

I'm more into fictional people.

You look like my wife.

Hey, want to go--SQUIRREL!

You should really order salad.

Does this smell like chloroform?

Focus on the dollar menu.

So, I thought, hey, I'm a writer. I should give this a whirl. How hard can it be to put together 5 little words? Turns out, way more difficult than I thought. Here's what I got:

Oh yeah, about that felony...

Trench mouth isn't contagious, right?

And Saturday, we'll join ISIS.

My mom's in the trunk.

I was raised by goats.

There you have it. Are you ready to give it a whirl? If you're brave enough, leave a Ditch Your Date in 5 Words in the comment section, or go all out and tweet it for the world to see.