You know those TV shows that feature some daredevil lighting his underwear on fire as he hops on a motorcycle and jumps over five semi-trucks and a baby, all while some scrolling type at the bottom of the screen warns you not to attempt this at home? Yeah. I feel like there should be some kind of warning to those considering self publishing because it's really not as easy as it looks. Leastwise not if you want to put out a quality book.

So here is my attempt at enlightening those who think they'll just slap up some type on Createspace and rake in a million bucks.

**pretend the following is scrolling across the screen . . . I'm not technologically savvy enough to do that and there's no teenager around for me to collar**

1. Covers are a pain in the patootie. Who knew there'd be so many decision to make? Color. Style. Artwork. Wording. Layout. Font. Sizing. Transparency. Bleed. And that's just in the first consultation.

2. No matter how many times you go through a manuscript, you can always find something else to change.

3. A good editor is worth her weight in chai. I didn't actually have the money up front to pay for a manuscript edit so I bartered for a lifetime supply of chai. So far it's worked out pretty dang good. Of course, if she lives to be one hundred, I may be in trouble. Nah. I'll be dead first. Hahahaha! Jokes on her. . . wait a minute. Maybe not.

4. If you put your book up for pre-order on Amazon, they give you a deadline set in stone to upload your final copy. If you're late, oops! Your name is written on the Amazon naughty list and you don't get to put up any more pre-orders for over a year.

5. There's way more that goes into producing a book than simply good writing, though that is a must. There's book size, paper color, paper weight, ISBN nonsense, Library of Congress shtuff, a bajillion different kind of ebook conversions, yada, yada. Seriously, I had no idea.

It's been an adventure putting out Writer Off the Leash, but one that's been a good education. Would I do it again? Probably. Will I leave the realm of traditional publishing behind? Nope. Each venue has their pros and cons.