One of my crit buddies, Ane "The Smiling Butcher", sent me an interesting comment that I think is worth pondering. She said:

"I can't help it if your story grabs me and I can't crit. LOL. Actually, that's a good thing, because you know I'm hard to grab anymore. I've become a jaded old thing."

You know what? I'm super glad she's a jaded old thing and that her critiques of my work sometimes draw blood. Why? Because it pushes my writing to a whole new level. I know that if I can get a rise out of her in some way, shape, or form, that my story will definitely tweak the emotions of my future readers.

Tough critiques, while painful at the time, are seriously worth their weight in gold.

Shortly thereafter, I received a thank you note from a contestant who I'd critiqued. I didn't sugarcoat my comments and I don't think I gave him/her a particularly high score. Even so, this person said:

"Your constructive feedback regarding my style has been really helpful as I edit and revise. How easy it is to be a style-conscious reader and a style-oblivious writer."

So WRITER:
Go ahead and lick your wounds after a red-penned butcher job on your manuscript, then drop to your knees and thank God that you've now got some great new ideas and ways to polish your work to a fine sheen.

And CRITIQUER:
Simply be honest. If you spot some writing that reeks, have the guts to say you smell something rotten. You don't have to get personal about it and suck the spirit out of the writer you're critting, but don't error on the side of nicey-nicey just to spare a buddy's feelings. And of course, don't forget to point out what's good in the piece either.